


Penny For Your Thoughts?

by thunderserum



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 1930's Music, 1930's Stucky, Alternate Universe - 1930s, Artist Steve Rogers, Bucky Beats Up A Homophobe, Bucky and Steve dance, Bucky and Steve make each other gifts, Bucky has a family, Christmas, Christmas Bucky Barnes, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Steve Rogers, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Domestic Fluff, Drunk Bucky Barnes, Drunk Steve Rogers, First Kiss, Fluff, Hand Holding Under The Table, Hugging, M/M, Minor Violence, Period-Typical Homophobia, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Sharing a Bed, Stucky Holds Pinkies, Stucky Sitting On The Roof, Teenage Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes, bucky is a softie, it's just really fucking soft okay, pre-World War II steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-28 15:38:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17185733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderserum/pseuds/thunderserum
Summary: Bucky grinned down at Steve, placing one hand on Steve's waist, his other interlocking with Steve's trembling one. It made Bucky laugh. "I hope you don't end up crushing my toes like last time. You're shaking like a leaf, Stevie."Steve's ears turned a bright pink, stepping on Bucky's toes. "That, was on purpose." The brunet's eyes crinkled as he laughed. "Quit laughing at me, it's freezing out here.""Don't worry, Doll. I'll warm you up good." Bucky pulled Steve into him, the blond's head resting on Bucky's chest and Bucky's chin resting on his head. They slowly swayed the music that occasionally turned to static. The connection wasn't amazing outdoors. The boys carefully moved around the rooftop, forgetting about the world around them.––Or, a pre-war stevebucky christmas au where they're too poor to buy good gifts so they give each other things that are homemade, get drunk on a roof, dance to 30's music and cuddle in Steve's bed.





	Penny For Your Thoughts?

**Author's Note:**

> a little christmas pre-war stucky au!
> 
> hope y'all are having a happy holiday season and that your new year is delicious
> 
> NOTE: steve's parents are alive and bucky has a nice happy family
> 
> this was supposed to be up two days ago but almost all of it didn't SAVE but here it is. blease enjoy!!

* * *

_December 20th, 1937_

Steve Rogers’ fingers felt numb, shoved into the pockets of his rugged canvas jacket. He rocked back and forth on his heels, squinting his eyes to stop them from watering when the chilling wind hit his face. He was standing outside of James –– personally known as Bucky –– Barnes’ apartment building in 23 degree weather, waiting for his friend to come out so they could head down to the secondhand shops for last minute Christmas shopping. 

The blond stepped back to look up at Bucky’s window, taking his hands out of his pockets to cup them around his mouth. “Hey, Barnes!”

The third floor window cracked open and a head of swirly brown hair popped outside. Water trickled down Bucky’s neck, and Steve could see he was already shaking. “Gimmie a minute!”

“I’m freezing my fucking limbs off out here. Dry off and let’s go. The shops are gonna close soon.” 

Bucky waved Steve off, closing his window. Steve could hear faint conversation come from the inside of Bucky’s apartment, although his ears were bumping blood too loud for him to make anything out. He pulled his down further over his ears, nodding his head at the two women who walked by him. They didn’t any mind to him, making Steve frown and look at his shoes. 

The door to the apartment unit open and Bucky exited the building in his trench coat and black brimmed cap. A gust of wind hit the two boys, almost knocking Steve over. Bucky grabbed his arm to keep him steady, throwing him an apologetic grin when Steve glared. 

“Sorry, Stevie. Becca needed help with her spelling and Mama was too busy finishing up her sewing for the Jeffersons to quiz her. I also was in the shower. Didn’t know you’d be here so damn early.”

Steve shoved his hands back into his pocket and the two fell in sync as they walked down the street. “It’s fine. You know I hate the cold, so the sooner I left home the sooner I could get back into my warm, cozy bed.”

“Mind if I join ya, Sweets?”

The blond’s cheeks burned and he shoved Bucky to the side. He was thankful for the cold weather that covered up the blush in his face. “Lower your voice, moron. You know the cops are around more during the holidays.”

Bucky looked around in a mock fear, throwing Steve another smile. “It’s almost 6:30, Steve. There’s barely any patrol out. And besides, who cares if they were. No one’s gonna come arrest me because I called you ’Sweets’, Sweets.”

“Well I don’t wanna take no chances. Now c’mon, the bus is gonna leave without us.”

The two boys reached the bus by a few seconds, Steve trying his best not to heave too loud as he searched his pockets for his inhaler. Bucky bit back his laughter, rubbing Steve’s back to sooth his coughing. His hand soon lowered down further than need and Steve pressed his foot onto Bucky’s toes, causing the taller of the two to groan in pain. Steve gave him an innocent smile, staring out the window for the rest of the bus ride.   

Once they reached the shops downtown, the boys got off the bus and window shopped for most of their trip. Together, the boys had about 36 dollars and 87 cents to them, which is more than either had expected to save up. Bucky gives Steve a slanted smile, saying “I had 60 cents more, but Becca went through my drawers and took some to buy herself some gum. Little bugger didn’t even bother replacing some of it.” 

Steve still needed to buy his mom something for Christmas, or rather he needed more supplies to make her something. The benefits of having art skills were that anything could be made into a meaningful gift if you got creative enough, and that homemade presents wouldn’t burn a massive hole into your pockets. Bucky needed to get something for his dad and his brother Dick, and was thinking about picking something else up for Becca. The moment they walked past a hand-me-down arts and crafts shop, Steve stopped in his tracks, grabbed Bucky’s wrist and pulled him towards the store entrance. He greeted the elderly woman at the front with a nod of his head and a smile, making a beeline for the paint brushes and canvases. 

Steve rubbed the brushes against his finger tips, pressing his thumb down to see how rough the bristles were. They pricked his fingers with every stroke and bits of the brushes were split at the tip. Steve pursed his lips. 

“S’cuse me, ma’am?” The elderly woman looked up. “How much for these brushes?”

“30 cents each, dear. Get more than three and they’re 15 cents each.”

The blond smiled her a ‘thank you’, and went back to looking at the brushes. He pondered on whether or not he should get them 

Bucky ran his fingers over the fabrics along the walls. He wondered if his sister would want some of these for her tapestry work. When he turned to ask Steve if he thought it was worth the 3 dollar purchase, he saw Steve struggling to get a can of paint up on one of the shelves. With his hand stretched out and standing on the tips of his toes, the blond still couldn’t brush his fingers against what he needed.

Bucky stood staring fondly for a moment before walking up behind Steve and grabbing the container of blue paint and examining it in his hand. Steve’s ears were pink with embarrassment as he frowned and held out his hand. Bucky smiled at him. 

“I almost had it,” Steve muttered, shaking the paint to make sure it wasn’t too dried out. 

“I’m sure you did, Doll.” Steve whipped his head around to make sure the store owner wasn’t around them to hear what Bucky had said. “For Christ’s sake, Steve, calm down. The more freaked out you look, the more attention you draw to it. Whatever  _ it _ is.” 

“Just cool it with the pet names, okay?” 

“How about until we’re  _ alone _ ?”

“How about forever. You know I think they’re cheesy.”

“Naw c’mon, Sugar, you know I can’t do that.”

“ _ Bucky _ .”

The brunet put his hands up in defence, grinning at Steve who rolled his eyes and went back to checking out the paint. He couldn’t find any that he could afford and just stuck to getting a couple of brushes. He settled with four, wishing the store owner a merry Christmas and going out into the December cold to help Bucky find a present for his brother. They found it rather quickly, Bucky purchasing a used baseball glove and baseball for only 5 dollars. 

Steve was able to find his mom an old cookbook from the early 1900’s to go with the cooking bowl he had made her a few days before. Sarah loved to cook, recipes old and new, so Steve thought it was perfect for her. The book cost about 11 dollars, which Bucky was able to successfully bargain down to 8. Steve gave the salesman a nervous smile, jogging up to Bucky who was bargaining with a different salesman on lowering the price of a  _ In A Shanty In Old Shanty Town  _ record. 

“The price is 12 dollars. Take it over leave it, kid.”

“But, sir, there’s a rip in the packaging and it wasn’t stored away properly. I had to use  _ both  _ hands to yank it out of it’s box, which could’ve damaged it more. It’s worth at the most, 10 dollars.”

The older man glared at Bucky, scratching his neck. Bucky raised his eyebrows at him. The salesman offered, “I’ll give it to you for $11.50.”

“$10.50.”

“11 dollars.”

“$9.50”

“You’re nuts. Get lost.”

Bucky held up his hands, holding the record out of his reach. “How about just the 10 dollars? Sound fair?” 

The salesman pursed his lips, thinking for only a moment before snatching the ten dollar bill out of Bucky’s hand. The brunet grinned, wishing him a merry Christmas and allowed Steve to pull him away. He admired the record in his hand, twirling it in his hands. Steve and Bucky waited at the end of the market entrance for the late bus to take them home.

“Oh, Papa’s gonna love this. Look at it, Stevie. Isn’t she a beauty?”

Steve nodded his head, shivering at the slight gust of wind that hit. He really hated the cold. “Did you really have to bargain with  _ every  _ shop owner we saw? They’re just tryna make some cash, just like the rest of us.”

“There’s a difference between making cash, and scamming people. Bet this stupid thing doesn’t even work.”

Their bus soon pulled up and the two boys boarded, nodding at the bus driver as they went to sit down. “Why buy any of it then? If it’s as shit as you say?”

“Dad will appreciate the effort.” 

Steve nodded his head, turning to look out the window. Snow began to fall down on the streets of New York. Even though Steve hated the cold, he loved the snow more than anything in the world. It was delicate and beautiful and Steve would complain about it once it arrived, but missed it deeply once it left. 

He felt a heavy weight lean onto his shoulder and turned to see Bucky leaning over to ring the bell and alert the bus driver that he wanted to stop at the nearest bus stop. Steve furrowed his eyebrows at Bucky who just gave him a lazy grin, grabbed his arms and pulled him towards the bus doors. The brunet thanked the driver and led Steve down the street and towards a diner a block away from their houses. 

The two boys walked in and slide into a booth, each ordering a cherry cola and a bowl of fries to share. Bucky’s dad was good friends with the owner of the restaurant so most of the time Steve and Bucky were able to snag a free meal. 

Steve rubbed his hands together and blew on them to try and warm them up. When the redheaded waitress named Sally handed them their order of fries, Steve dropped his hands under the table shaking them to get the pins and needles feeling out before taking a fry. Bucky thanked Sally, leaning back in the booth and swigging his coke bottle. He sighed and shut his eyes. 

“I can’t wait for Christmas.”

“Me too,” Steve agreed. “Really hope Ma likes my gifts.”

Bucky smiled at him. “I’m sure she’ll love it, Hun.” Steve gave him a look. “What? No one can hear us over the radio, nor are they paying attention. Which is why, I can do  _ this _ .”

Steve felt Bucky’s rough hand linger against his, interlocking their fingers and rubbing his thumb against the back of Steve’s palm. Despite Steve’s burning cheeks, he gave Bucky a small smile. Steve lightly swung their hands back and forth under the table and Bucky occasionally tapped his toes against Steve’s. 

It warmed up Steve real quick. 

The two boys just casually spoke about their families’ plans for Christmas and ate their food. Steve’s grandparents were coming to visit for the rest of the year and were set to arrive the night of Christmas Eve. Bucky’s mom was planning to have dinner at their house and he let Steve know that his family were invited. 

Steve loved going to Bucky’s house. The blond was an only child and although he loved the dynamic he and his family had, he loved the chaos of Barnes’ family household. Bucky’s younger sister was Steve’s favourite person to see whenever he went over, even though her crush on Steve was extremely obvious and slightly nerve wracking. Bucky constantly teased her about it and later when they were alone, Steve would tease Bucky about Bucky’s crush on him.

Every time the brunet would roll his eyes with pink cheeks and say “In your dreams, Stevie.”

The two boys had finished their food, a while ago however they were still sitting in their booth, smiling lovingly at one another with interlocked hands under the diner table and their toes tapping each other’s from time to time. They knew they’d have to get up soon. They knew they’d have to leave. But this, this small gesture that they were doing and they way they were doing it, were the only ways Steve and Bucky could share their feelings for one another in public without public ridicule. 

They wanted to cherish every moment of it. 

Unfortunately, their moment didn’t last as long as they’d hoped because a hand slammed down on their diner table, causing the boys to rip their hands away from each other. A brunet man with his hair gelled back and an unlit cigarette hanging off his ear grinned at Steve and Bucky menacingly. It made Steve’s stomach churn.

“Hey, Buck.” He greeted. He leaned in closer to Steve. “Hiya, Stacey.”

“Nicholaus.” Bucky warned.

Nicholaus put his hand on his hair in feign remorse. “I’m so sorry, Steve. I meant, Steve. Really, my deepest apologizes.”

Steve just frowned at him, pulling at his fingers. Whenever he felt nervous, his mom told him to just watch the way the colour in his fingers changed from red to white and to match his breathing with the colour change to try and calm himself down. Even with his nerves subsiding, the churning stomach in his stomach never went away.

“What brings you ladies here on this fine, winter’s night? Hm?” Nicholaus moved into the booth and sat next to Steve. It made Steve tense up. “Oh, no need to get all scared, Doll. I ain’t here to hurt’ ya. That is, unless you want me to.”

The wink he gave Steve sent chills down the blond’s spine and he glanced over at Bucky to see the brunet’s veins popping in his neck. “Back off, Nick.” 

“Oh now now, James, surely your mama taught you about how important sharing is. And this sweet little thing right here is definitely worth a mighty fine share. Don’t ya think?”

“P-Please move,” Steve said quietly. “I can’t–I can’t breathe.”

Nicholaus just moved closer to Steve, so close that his breath lingered over Steve’s skin. “Or what, flamer? Don’t you like your men tall, brooding and willing to suffocate you?”

“ _ Nicholaus _ .”

The other brunet jokingly stroked Steve’s face, making the smallest boy attempt to shove him away. His frail shaking body barely pushed him back. Nicholaus laughed, snatching Steve’s arm and twisting it. Steve yelped in pain. Bucky immediately shot up, grabbing Nicholaus by his collar and yanking him out of the booth. 

“Touch him again and I’ll break your fucking jaw.” Bucky sneered.

Steve felt his chest loosen up and he began to shake more when he looked up to see Bucky and Nicholaus facing off in the middle of the diner. He got up to try and convince Bucky that it wasn’t worth it, but the moment he went to break a space in between the two, Nicholaus shoved Steve back. The blond tripped on his shoelace and ended up falling over and slamming his arm against one of the booth seats. He heard a crack come from his pocket and frowned when he remembered his paint brushes were in them.

Bucky then grabbed the other man’s collar and smashing his fist against his jaw. Silence fell in the diner and Steve saw a flare of rage flash in Bucky’s eyes. Bucky punched Nicholaus again, this time in the nose, and shoved him back onto the ground. Steve moved back so they wouldn’t collide and saw blood pour of his Nicholaus’ nose. 

The blond stood up and rushed up to his friend to hold him back. Bucky struggled against Steve for a moment before he met Steve’s eyes and saw the worry in them. 

“Bucky, please.” The brunet relaxed against Steve’s hands. “Let’s just go home. Ya?Just go home and wrap our gifts.” 

Bucky nodded, grabbing his coat and gifts in one hand and Steve’s wrists in the other. Steve quickly grabbed his mom’s cookbook, and struggled to keep up with Bucky who rushed down the street with his chest heaving. 

“Bucky.” The brunet didn’t turn around. Steve stopped in his tracks and pulled Bucky back. “ _ Bucky. _ ” 

The two boys looked at each other for a moment, and Steve yearned more than anything to hold his hand and kiss him to calm him down. Bucky’s temper wasn’t as short as most men, but when it came to Steve he was a loose canon. He frowned at Steve’s worried facial expression. He looked around to see if the streets were empty before pulling Steve into the nearest alley way. 

Once the two boys were alone and away from any witnesses, Bucky pulled Steve into a hug. The two stood in the cold, Bucky kissing the top of Steve’s head and Steve rubbing Bucky’s lower back. Steve turned his head and pressed his ear against Bucky’s chest. The rhythm of Bucky’s heartbeat was soothing to Steve and he wished he could listen to the sound for the rest of his life. 

He rested his chin on Bucky’s chest and looked up at him “Better?” He mumbled.

Bucky nodded, cradling Steve’s face and rubbing his thumb against his lips. Steve puckered his lips, lightly kissing his finger. Bucky gave him a smile. “Better.”

“Nicholaus is just a jerk. You gotta learn to control your temper, Buck.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” He pecked Steve’s forehead, loosening his grip around him. “I just hate seeing you get hurt, Bug.”

“‘M fine, Bucky. I don’t need you to protect me all the time.” 

“I know you don’t need it, Love.” Steve rolled his eyes. “But I  _ want  _ to. You’re my little sugar-plum, Stevie. You bruise way too easily.”

“Oh, shut up.” Steve brought Bucky’s bruised knuckles to his lips and kissed the scratches softly. “Between the two of us, you’re more bruised than I am, Bucko.”

Bucky grinned, linking their pinkies together. “Which was brought on from protecting  _ you _ . Anyway, your fingers are turning to icicles. Let’s get you to your warm bed, Stevie.”

“Okay. Do you, um, do you wanna stay over tonight? I’m sure Ma and Pa won’t mind.”

“Of course I would.” Bucky hesitated a moment before leaning down and quickly brushing his lips against the corner of Steve’s mouth. Steve’s face burned and he punched Bucky’s shoulder. “Sorry, Love. I just. I wanted to try it. Like everyone else, ya know?”

Steve gave him a sad smile, nodding his head and leading him out of the alleyway. “No, yeah. I get it. Now, c’mon. I can’t feel my fingers.”

* * *

_ December 23rd, 1937 _

Steve was sat on his bedroom floor, his feet crossed under his legs. He was finishing up the details of Bucky’s Christmas gift, a wooden tool box Steve made from scratch, painted like the solar system and stars in the sky. Bucky was always talking about how he was gonna go up into space someday. Wanted to study astronomy and engineering at university once he had enough money saved up. 

Steve was trying to enrol in an art school downtown, but money was short for the Rogers’ family as well. Steve wanted to study Art History and one day wanted to own a studio where he held classes. For the time begin, he practiced his art by making people gifts and sketching people in his neighbourhood for some extra cash. 

As Steve outlined the planets with his white paint, he heard a soft knock on his bedroom door. He looked up to see his mom, Sarah, holding his shoes and a wade of newspapers in her hands. Steve gave her an embarrassed smile. 

“Your father accidentally put your shoe on by mistake and found  _ these _ in them.”

“Sorry,” Steve held out his hand to take the newspaper. “Thought I took them out when I got home last night.”

“They shouldn’t be in there to begin with. Standin’ on paper all day isn’t gonna make your legs grow.” Steve waved his hand at her in annoyance. 

Sarah smiled at him and crouched down in front of him to look at his toolbox. “Who’s this for, Honey?” 

“Bucky.” Steve answered, smiling down at it. He was really happy with how it turned out. “We were both low on cash, so this year we’re giving each other homemade stuff. He’s been complaining about the splinters he gets from his current toolbox, so I thought he could use a new one.”

“I think it looks wonderful, but you could’ve just asked me or your father for some extra money, Dear.”

The blond shook his head, wiping his fingers of excess paint. “That defeats the purpose of  _ homemade _ , Ma. Besides, I need to practice making 3D models anyway. That art school’s exam asks about that stuff,  _ and  _ you have to have some prior knowledge of it if you’re accepted so it’s better to be prepared, ya know?”

Sarah nodded her head at him. She stared at her darling boy for moment. He was much smaller than most boys his age, but he was far more caring and much more courageous. He had a small bruise under his eye from a fight he got into two nights ago when he saw some older boys picking on their neighbour Johnny. The boys were twice Steve’s size, but he hated bullies more than anything in the world. Sarah and Joseph may have not gotten the most athletic boy, but the most certainly got the bravest, and they were proud of how he turned out. 

Steve’s mom placed her hand under his chin and gave him a kiss on his cheek. Steve grinned at her. “I love you, Sweetie.”

“I love you too, Ma.” Steve dipped his paint brushes into his water cup and held up the toolbox. “You think Buck will like it?” 

“I think he’ll love it. Is he coming over for dinner?”

“I think he’s gonna come over after,” Steve looked up at her. “If that’s okay, of course.”

Her smile told him it was. “And, he can sleep over?”

“As long as you don’t go running off the next afternoon. Grandma wants to go shopping. Catch those ridiculous holiday sales to get souvenirs for her friends back home.” 

Steve placed Bucky’s gift on his desk, grabbing his parents wrapped gifts and handing them to his mother. “Put these under the tree for me please? And don’t let Pa see you do it. I don’t want him snooping around and end up ruining the surprise.”

“What’d you get him anyway?”

“I’m not telling you either. I know you can’t keep a damned secret to save your tail.”

“Steven. Language.”

“Sorry, Ma.”

Sarah took the gifts from her son, ruffling his hair. She told him dinner was almost done. Steve went about cleaning up his art supplies and tidied up his room before he washed his hands and went down to the dining room. His was sitting in his rocking chair, reading the newspaper. His father raised his eyebrows at him in greeting and the smaller blond waved back. 

The telephone rang, there was a pause and then Sarah called for Steve. She held out the phone and then said “It’s James. Not too long though, I’m setting the table now.”

Steve nodded, waiting for his mom to walk out of earshot before answer. “Hey, Buck.”

“Hi, Stevie.” Steve could hear Becca say his name in the background. He smiled. “Mama wants to know what time I’m supposed to be coming over after dinner. I’m fine with any time. But, I will say that Becca won’t stop whining about you not coming over this year.”

“ _ I did not, James! Mama, James is lying about me! _ ”  

“Just know I didn’t do anything!” Bucky shouted. “Anyway, what time should I come over?”

“Well, we’re gonna have dinner with my grandparents. That’ll probably be done around 7, so you can come over after that. And, um,” Steve looked over this shoulder to see if his dad was up out of his chair. Joseph was still furrowing his eyebrows at the paper. Steve lowered his voice, “You can stay over. If-If you want of course.”

Steve could hear Bucky’s smile when he answered. “Of course, Stevie. I’ll bring some bourbon and we can–hold on a sec. I did  _ not  _ tease her! She’s making it up! I gotta go, Becca’s making a fuss over nothing. But I’ll see you on Christmas?”

“See you on Christmas. And quit picking on your sister.”

“Yeah, yeah, Stevie.”

* * *

 

_ December 25th, 1937  _

At 7 o’clock on the dot there was a knock on the Rogers’ front door. Bucky was standing outside, hiding a bottle of bourbon and Steve’s present in side of his peacoat and balancing the cake his mom made for Steve’s family. It was Christmas Day and Bucky’d be damned if he said he wasn’t still freezing his ass off from the walk he took t get there. Sometimes he felt that Steve was a bit over dramatic about the weather, that his little ill ridden body just couldn’t handle it. But tonight, it was below 23 degrees and Bucky was praying it was gonna somehow get warmer as the night went on. 

When the front door opened, Bucky was greeted with a grinning Steve and his parents Joseph and Sarah. Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck, giving him quick hug and a pat on the back. He was wearing a sweater Bucky’s never seen before – probably something Sarah knit him up for Christmas. It was maroon and a bit too big for Steve but Bucky thought he looked perfect in it. 

“Merry Christmas!”

“Hi, Stevie. Merry Christmas.” Bucky gave Steve’s mom a hug. “Merry Christmas, Mr and Mrs Rogers. My mom and dad wanted me to give this cake Mama baked.”

“I’ll have to give your Ma a ring and thank her. Are you hungry, James? We still have some food leftover.”

Bucky shook his head, taking off his hat. “I’m fine, Mrs Rogers. Thank you though.”

“We’re gonna go to my room, Ma. Might sit on the roof for a bit.” Steve grabbed Bucky’s arm and pulled him up the stairs. “Don’t wait up for us!”

“Have a good night, Mr and Mrs Rogers!”

“Be careful!” Sarah called out. “It’s snowing.”

“Yeah, yeah!"

Steve shut his bedroom door and locked it, feeling Bucky wrap his arms around his waist and peck his neck. Steve grinned, turning around and putting his hands around Bucky’s neck. The two stared at each other for a moment before Bucky leant down and kissed Stevie lightly down on my lips. He could feel the blond grinning against the kiss, Steve’s arms wrapping tighter around his neck. 

The two stumbled back until they were sat on Steve’s bed, Bucky underneath Steve. Their mouths moved together in sync and Bucky could feel Steve’s breath become ragged. That happened a lot when they kissed. He’d get too excited and then his asthma would kick in and they’d have to stop until he could breathe properly again. 

Steve broke out of the kiss to breathe, huffing and puffing above Bucky. He placed his forehead on Bucky’s and grinned down at him. Bucky grinned back. 

“Hi.” Steve said softly. 

Bucky leant up and pecked his lips quickly. “Hi. I’ve been waiting to do that for weeks.”

“Me too. Wish we could do it all the time.” Steve sat up on his heels before hopping off his bed. “Now, c’mon. We gotta exchange gifts.”

“Oh, I just got here. Can’t we wait a bit?”

“No,” Steve smacked his thigh. “Up. I want you to open mine first.”

“Alright, alright. Jesus.” Steve handed Bucky a cardboard box, grinning at it with excitement. Bucky slowly unwrapped the box, feeling his heat exploded when he took the lid of. “Oh my god. Steve, you–you really didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to, you dingus.” He blushed at Bucky’s gleaming eyes.  “Do you like it?”

Bucky pulled Steve down and kissed his lips. “I love it. Thank you so much.”

He traced his fingers over the engraving of his name and looked around at all the planets on the toolbox. He thought about how Steve must’ve spent hours working on this and how much effort it must’ve taken him to get it just right. He fondly looked at Steve who was blushing in embarrassment from Bucky’s adoring glance.

“Now my gift is gonna seem like it sucks in comparison to yours. Always gotta one up me, Rogers.” 

Steve rolled his eyes and crossed his legs on the bed to open Bucky’s gift. “I’m sure I’ll love it as much as you loved mine. You know it doesn’t take much to impress me.”

Steve carefully unwrapped his gift. He hated ripping wrapping paper and kept them for his art work. He moved the wrapping paper onto his floor and pulled the string to loosen the cloth. When he opened up the cloth, Steve’s jaw dropped and he felt his throat close up with emotions that made him feel overwhelmed. 

In the cloth were four homemade paint brushes and a hand carved paint palette. The brushes felt like silk against Steve’s fingertips and the palette was light, but was sturdy and would last the blond many years. Each brush had Steve’s initials engraved in them, and the palette had his full name.

Steve felt his eyes fill with tears. “Bucky,” he said softly.

“Do you like it?” Bucky’s eyebrows were furrowed and he nibbled on his bottom lip nervously. 

“You’re such an idiot.” Steve wiped his cheeks and gave Bucky a fond smile. “I absolutely love it. I don’t––Oh I can’t believe you made these for me.”

“I know how much you wanted new ones. You’re always complaining about how rough the bristles of your brushes are and I know your palette is cracked.  And I know that asshat ruined the ones you bought, so you really needed new ones. They aren’t carved that great, but I’m really glad you l––“

Steve placed his lips on Bucky’s, resting his hands around his neck. He pulled away with a huge grin, muttering, “I love them. I love them, I love them, I love them. And–And,” Steve hesitated. 

Bucky quirked his eyebrow and titled his head. “Yes?”

The blond chewed on his bottom lip before blurting out, “I love you, Bucky.” Bucky’s eyes widened and Steve felt his entire body burn. “Y-Yeah. I love you. I, Steven Grant Rogers, am in love with you, James Buchanan Barnes. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Stevie. So much that I don’t know how to breathe when you’re not there. I eat, sleep and drink the love I have for you. It ignites this never-ending fire in me that keeps me alive. I love you so so much, Steve.”

Steve shoved Bucky’s shoulder, grinning like an idiot from ear to ear. “You’re so fucking cheesy. I hate it.”

“You love it, and me.”

“Hmm, I do.” Steve hopped of his bed and grabbed his winter coat and shoes. “Wanna go on the roof now? It’s only gonna get colder if we stay in here all night.”

Bucky nodded, taking his bottle of bourbon out from his coat and fiddled with it in his hands. “Radio?”

Steve scrunched his nose. “Is that really a question you need to ask me?”

The brunet groaned, handing his boyfriend the alcohol and bending down to lift up Steve’s wireless radio off of his bedroom floor. They had no idea if it would work outside in this weather, but they could only hope. Every holiday since Steve got a wireless radio, he and Bucky would sit on the rooftop, listen to music and drink till they couldn’t stand straight. Bucky would try to teach Steve how to dance and always laughed when the blond failed miserably to mimic his dance moves.

It was their thing and it helped them block out the world around them. It helped them feel whole in a place that was broken.

Steve grabbed the bourbon and a blanket wrap the radio incase it didn’t work. He couldn’t afford to get it wet and have his parents be upset with him. The two boys climbed out onto the fires escape and carefully walked up the steps towards the roof of Steve’s apartment building. When they go to the top, Steve placed his blanket on the ground before plopping down next to where Bucky put the radio and took a swig of the bourbon.   

Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve and kissed his temple, resting his head on top of Steve’s and listening to the musical static that came from the radio. Steve played with Bucky’s fingers and stared at the stars that glimmered above them. The two boys talked and drank and laughed at nothing till the alcohol started to hit. 

Steve got drunk way faster than Bucky and it most definitely showed. He laughed at everything Bucky said and swayed despite sitting still on the floor. Bucky pulled him into a bone crushing hug repeatedly pressing kisses to his forehead. 

Eliza Fitzgerald’s  _ I’ve Got A Feeling I’m Falling  _ came on and Steve instantly lit up. “B-Buck! I  _ love  _ this song!” 

“I know, Stevie.” Steve shot up, almost tripping over the radio. Bucky grabbed his hand to steady him and pull him back down. “Woah there, buddy. Where are you goin’?”

Steve pressed his lips to Bucky’s neck and muttered, “Wanna dance.”

“Steve, it’s slippery up here. Oi, don’t look at me like that. It’s dangerous.”

The blond’s bottom lip was stuck out into a pout and he locked his fingers together in a begging gesture. “Please, Bucky. It’s–It’s Christmas. You can’t say no to dancing with me on Christmas.”

Bucky pursed his lips together for a moment before taking Steve’s hand and pulling him up off the ground. Steve cheered, busting out laughing when Bucky scolded him to lower his voice. The brunet pulled Steve a bit farther from the edge of the rooftop to avoid any possibility of his boyfriend slipping and falling off. 

The moment Bucky unwrapped his arms from Steve, he started shivering. His frail body could barely withstand the cold, but the alcohol in his system made him ignorant to it. His teeth began to chatter and when Bucky took one of Steve’s hands it felt like he was holding an ice cube. 

Bucky grinned down at Steve, placing one hand on Steve's waist, his other interlocking with Steve's trembling one. It made Bucky laugh. "I hope you don't end up crushing my toes like last time. You're shaking like a leaf, Stevie."

Steve's ears turned a bright pink, stepping on Bucky's toes. "That, was on purpose." The brunet's eyes crinkled as he laughed. "Quit laughing at me, it's freezing out here."

"Don't worry, Doll. I'll warm you up good." Bucky pulled Steve into him, the blond's head resting on Bucky's chest and Bucky's chin resting on his head. They slowly swayed the music that occasionally turned to static. The connection wasn't amazing outdoors. The boys carefully moved around the rooftop, forgetting about the world around them.

Steve once again focused on the rhythm of Bucky’s beating heart. He couldn’t believe that Bucky was real, that Bucky was  _ his _ . He looked up to see Bucky still smiling down at him. Steve smiled back, resting his chin on Bucky’s chest and shutting his eyes. He took a deep breath before standing on his tippy toes and pressing his lips against Bucky’s. 

Bucky moved his hands to cradle Steve’s face, gently moving his lips along with Steve’s. The two boys kissed for a brief moment before Steve pulled back, playing the tufts of Bucky’s hair. 

“What was that for? Not that I’m complaining.”

Steve shrugged his shoulders. “Just wanted to try it, like everyone else.” 

The brunet gave him a sad smile, rubbing his thumb against Steve’s cheek. A gust of wind hit the two, almost making Steve slip and fall over. “Okay, we’re going inside now.” 

“No,” Steve said, dragging out the  _ o _ . “‘M fine. Five more minutes.”

With a shake of his head, Bucky took Steve’s hand and pulled him towards the fire escape stairs. He helped Steve into his room, ordering him to change for bed. When he brought back the radio and alcohol, Bucky saw Steve sleeping in his bed, clothes from the day still on. He rolled his eyes, changing into a pair of pyjamas he’s left in Steve’s drawer for their sleepovers, grabbing pyjama pants for Steve and shaking the blond awake. 

“Mmm, come cuddle, please.” 

Bucky tossed him his pants, going to unlock his bedroom door. “Pyjamas on, go brush your teeth and then we can cuddle, Stevie.”

Steve rolled his eyes, stumbling to change his clothes and shuffled down the hall to brush his teeth. He said goodnight to his parents, trying his best to appear sober. When he returned to his room, he locked his door again and hopped into bed, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s middle and kissing under his chin. Bucky stroked his arm softly. 

Steve’s began to feel heavy, and before he fell asleep he mumbled under his breath, “I love you.”

Bucky smiled, giving Steve a quick squeezing. “I love you too, Buttercup.” 

“Merry Christmas, Bucky.”

“Merry Christmas, Stevie.” 


End file.
